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FUN FRIDAY: the secret to “saying no”
Say Yes. You can always say no later.” Mary Finlayson
Among my bad habits is the tendency to say “Yes” too quickly. “Yes, I’ll volunteer !” “ Yes, I’ll fly there even though it’s a one-stop and I don’t get in till midnight!” “Yes! Did I say ‘Yes’ fast enough?”
I guess some might say that I’m a pleaser because I’d generally rather make people happy than tick them off. My Mom was familiar with this quirk of mine because I used to call her moaning that I’d agreed to something that I regretted.
Both my parents were much better at protecting their personal time and space. If Dad wanted to bail out of a crowded event, Dad would just slowly slide his chair inch by inch, closer and closer to the exit until he silently vanished, avoiding the whining “Why are you leaving so soon?” goodbye.
My Mom was quicker to the punch. She hated being forced into a yes that left a pit in her stomach. So Mom came up with her own mantra, “Just say yes. You can always say no later.” It’s not that she wasn’t telling the truth. She often stuck with her yes. But occasionally, it was the perfect way to deal with others’ on-the-spot requests. I have to say that it works. All the guilt is delayed and the somehow the ‘no’ lands softer with the passage of time.
Maybe you can try it out this weekend. “Yes, I’ll go with you to that painful 6am spinning class on Saturday” and then, “Whoops, the alarm didn’t go off!” And snooze your morning away. You might not ever do this but it’s nice to know you can. Mom said so.
(photo credit: http://welcometoourreality.blogspot.com/2011/09/crossing-fingers.html)
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